The whispers of past weeks are remaining consistent and they
even appear to carry substance; there does appear to be a new bidder in the
process, the predicted transfer activity of the week has come to pass and the mooted
July 1st does tie in with all the other bits of hearsay.
Besides, it has to end inside the next week or so; I’m not
convinced we can collectively stomach any longer a timeframe (in fact some have
already crumbled – see Tuesday); I’ve lost countless evenings and weekends to
this already, reduced to a desperate shell of a man, constantly refreshing
timelines and the TOMA thread in the hope that this time something will be
there; a simple tweet from Thom Kirwin or Paul Dews, or one glorious weblink to
the official site that ends the nightmare and starts the celebrations.
The Euros have been reduced to an irrelevance - anyone
doubting the precedence of club over country should try being a Leeds fan this
summer! I’ve even found myself daydreaming about it all, a vivid, repetitive vision: a press conference screened live on the BBC, with not so much as a
Yorkshire Radio microphone in view, while outside the entrance of the discredited
LUFC media outlet’s HQ sits Ben Fry, disconsolate, a single tear running down
his cheek, his gaze fixed on a framed, signed photograph of Ken Bates, his
finger tenderly stroking his paymaster’s beard. Elsewhere, Peter Lorimer
staggers around the Commercial Inn, grasping his third bottle of gin as he
tries to convince punters that he never had any time for the departing regime.
In the West Stand car park, a subdued Shaun Harvey is loading his belongings
into a Citroen Picasso while in Monaco, Ken Bates is on his phone, begging
David Conn to give him an exclusive interview in The Guardian…
It may not pan out exactly like that, but it will end. Mark
my words, this 7 year nightmare WILL end!!!
"…Oh, hello nurse, is that my lunch on that lovely silver
tray? It isn’t? Wait a minute, what’s that syringe for..."
Monday 18th June
Finally, a temporary reprieve from the takeover
speculation as the new fixture list is published; a day that gets Leeds fans
excited and police forces nationwide, making plans for excessive overtime
opportunities.
The fixture lists are the product of weeks of careful
planning, a conscientious process where the needs of supporters, the wishes of
clubs and wider social considerations are all factored into the complex
algorithms of the Football League computer. I can only imagine Blackpool
chairman, Karl Oyston concurring with this viewpoint; his bitter complaints
about the drunken behaviour of Leeds supporters during last season’s April weeknight
game, keenly adhered to by the authorities who have decreed to make Bloomfield
Road the destination for United’s first away trip of the season…on an August
weeknight!
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| Comments taken on board... |
It’s difficult to have much sympathy for Oyston, a man
who owns a club based in a town that seemingly markets itself as the resort of
choice for binge drinking and loutish behaviour. Maybe if he wants to avoid
such instances of anti-social behaviour, he should consider taking the reins of a
different seaside club, based in a more respectable resort. How about Bournemouth?
…Hmm, maybe not.
The fixtures cause similar excitement in other Yorkshire
footballing outposts, especially in Huddersfield, Hull and Barnsley. Mercifully
for the triumvirate of chairman presiding over these clubs from Yorkshire’s
dark underbelly, the earliest Leeds visit doesn’t fall until December, allowing
them plenty of time to produce batches of large print song sheets, containing
the lyrics to “I’m Huddersfield/Hull/Barnsley* (*delete as appropriate) ‘til I die” so as the day-tripping
hordes of chavs have something to bellow out in between the choruses of “We all
hate Leeds scum!”
Plans are already afoot in the corridors of Huddersfield Town
Hall to pencil in Monday 3rd December as a Bank Holiday, should the
dog botherers win; the festive period visit to Hull gives the authorities
plenty of time to prepare the locals for a brush with a 21st century
civilisation, while Barnsley’s January fixture is the perfect excuse to
re-issue the VHS of last season’s victory in the run up to Christmas.
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| If it wasn't for the pesky meddling clubs... |
Elsewhere, the YEP hears from Redders who is keen to
discuss the great work going on at the Academy and his new role, managing the
new U21 squad as the club re-structures in line with the Elite Player
Performance Plan (EPPP). His excitement and utter conviction about the quality
of the current crop of youngsters are ER is articulated quite beautifully as he
reflects on the season just gone:
“The youth team had an outstanding season and we were the
best team in our league by a country mile. If we’d had a different start to the
season and not played Liverpool, Manchester United and Arsenal, we’d have won the
league, no two ways about it.”
Give or take 13 other pesky clubs, it was the same for
the senior side, Redders…
Tuesday 19th June
It’s finally happening! As foretold in the whispers form
the more credible ITKers, Leeds have started to draft in new players. First lined up to read the script about the
ambition of the manager, the plans of the club and the quality of the pasta
bake at Thorp Arch is Norwich City’s Adam Drury.
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| The inbreds mourn the loss a family member |
Despite being another summer ‘Bosman’, his arrival is
greeted with a general sense of approval and optimism by Whites supporters; Warnock
is especially delighted to have got his man, revealing that he’d failed
previously to land him while boss as Bramall Lane and saying of Drury:
“I’ve always liked him and I honestly think he’s as good
a left-back as you’ll get in the Championship, certainly defensively”
Perhaps most comforting of all was the reaction amongst
Norwich supporters who were in unison over their sadness to see him depart.
Each tweet about Drury, effused about him in glowing terms; after spending 11
years at Carrow Road, many spoke of him in the way that you’d expect of family
members… though this is East Anglians we’re talking about, so I suppose
anything’s possible.
While still in the virtual world, much beloved son of WACCOE’s
TOMA threads, ToeNailSoup reveals his twitter alter-ego, and in the process,
provides an insight into how a man who’s been driven to the verge of hysteria
by takeover rumours chooses to have a public breakdown. The poster a.k.a.
@WhiteLeedsSite has been leading a secret double life under his twitter
pseudonym, tracking down any tweeters claiming to be 'in the know' and demanding of them their credentials. This evening matters came to a head, the victim, a naive journalism student; in
a moment of foolhardiness she decided to try boost her follower count by proclaiming
to have inside information – our man, desperate for answers, took his opportunity and wasn’t
going to take ‘no’ as an answer…
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| Maddie has left the building... |
The girl in question quickly retracted her initial tweet
and stated that she knew nothing before eventually opting to delete her account
– valuable lesson learned. Scanning back down the @WhiteLeedsSite profile page it’s clear
that the incident was sadly inevitable - countless other parties had already been previously
called to task, the YEP’s Phil Hay included, who'd memorably been instructed to ‘Piss off!”.
In the aftermath, ToeNailSoup disappeared off WACCOE for
several hours, prompting concern for his welfare, but finally returned the
following afternoon, his enthusiasm undimmed and his deity-like status only
elevated by what had passed the night before. With a sense of boundless optimism
comparable to that of a Disney Club presenter on Prozac, he truly is a man to
be treasured.
ITKers, beware…
Wednesday 20th June
Two days and two signings, as Paul Green is announced as
the club’s third summer arrival. Neil Warnock told the official site:
“Paul is another player I’ve been after for a long time…I’ve
seen him grow from his days at Doncaster and I’m delighted to have him here. I’ve
always thought that he is a player who can create goals as well as score them,
and he has just the type of attitude we need at Elland Road.”
Whether that right type of “attitude” is a willingness to
actually sign a contract is unclear, as is the overall reaction of the fan
base. While involvement with Ireland’s Euro 2012 squad should provide grounds
for optimism, that may be tempered somewhat by the fact that Green initially a
standby player for a nation that was able to automatically accommodate Darren O’Dea.
This widely circulated jpeg also did little to lift the spirits…
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| Be afraid, be very afraid... |
Derby County fans didn’t seem to rate Green that highly
either, but hey, what do they know? They said exactly the same about Paul
Connolly…
On Wednesday evening, focus switched to the first LUST
meeting of the summer, where a larger than usual audience attended the event at The
Magic Sponge, many doubtless there in the hope that Gary Cooper et al were
going to spill any specifics on the takeover. They were to be disappointed.
However, in saying nothing, Gary did somehow seem to tell
everything; while everybody left at the end, none the wiser in terms of
concrete names and timescales, most surely did so feeling all the more
confident that a takeover would be happening.
When I offered up the theory that the signing of ‘Bosmans’
now and the expected recruitment of players who commanded fees at the end of
the month (as suggested in the press) supported the suggestions of a takeover being
completed by 1st July, the Trust’s chairman nodded along and smiled
throughout. He eventually replied, that “there would seem to be too many coincidences for this not to be true, and besides, I DON’T believe in coincidences”… as
hints go, that was a pretty strong one.
Ultimately however, LUST were understandably unwilling to
confidently pin their colours to a particular date, though did go as far
conceding at least, that it was “VERY probable” that Leeds United would start
the new season under new ownership. Furthermore, if Bates was somehow able to
cock up these negotiations, they were able to assure us that at least two more
bidders were waiting in the wings, both offering substantial funds. Each one of them
were only interested in a takeover.
I slept better that night.
Thursday 21st June
Adam Drury spoke for the first time over his move to
Elland Road, telling the club website that after 11 years at Norwich it felt
like the right time to move on:
“Everything moves on. Football moves on, life moves on,
and it was time for me to move on. I’m excited about what I’m coming into and
can’t wait to get going. I had a few options, there was some interest and I
could’ve gone abroad, but with what could happen here it’s a massive pull and I
want to be part of it.”
For those who made it past the deep philosophical musings
of the opening sentences, there was ANOTHER takeover hint – after the usual morning
pattern of post-rumour depression, the customary sharp late night injection of hope arrived
mid-afternoon for once.
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| The WACCOE experience in line graph form |
Neil Warnock spoke in more detail about the arrival of
Green and had undoubtedly immersed himself in the ‘Elland Road New Signing’s Cliché
Handbook’ informing the official site:
“Once we showed him around Thorp Arch and told him what I
was intending to do, I don’t think there was too much of a choice for Paul.
That was the crux of it”
Welcome to the Ministry of Propaganda, Neil!
Friday 22nd June
It is announced that Elland Road is going to become the
home of a new ice rink after developers, the imaginatively named Ice Rink
Company, and operators, Silver Blades, reached an agreement with Leeds City
Council. No word as yet on whether it will be the largest facility of its type
between Manchester and Newcastle.
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| Not that sort of old flame, Simon |
The club also invite supporters to join them at Billy’s
Bar on Monday as they prepare to welcome the Olympic Torch Relay to Elland
Road. The identity of the torch bearer is not revealed – it is believed that
Simon Grayson was initially offered the opportunity, but was said to be wary
of the prospect of meeting up with any old flames at the club.
Visitors to WACCOE, late on Friday evening have a near
death experience as the mods take the decision to merge the two TOMA threads,
creating the impression that 300+ pages have been added in the space of a
couple of hours… as usual, on closer inspection, it proves another false dawn.
Saturday 23rd June
More fuel to the fire of the theory of an imminent
takeover as United are again linked with players who command transfer fees.
David Norris and Luke Varney are back on Neil Warnock’s radar, weeks after
having the ‘square root of f**k all’ to spend thwarted our manager’s initial
interest.
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| Another fee? |
There is also an update on ticket sales for pre-season
games. Only 150 tickets remain for the visit of Torquay, while over 1000 have already
been sold for the trips to Tavistock and Bodmin. Seeing the potential to
capitalise on spreading mass panic, the club take the responsible step of
selling tickets in advance for the fixture at Farsley…and a potential £3000 in
booking fees to feather Ken’s retirement funds.
Sunday 23rd June
A story in the Sunday Mirror speculates – let’s be fair,
it’s the Sunday Mirror, so we’re not in the realms of indisputable fact here –
that Ross McCormack is set to leave the Whites to join Simon Grayson at
Huddersfield in a £2.5m move. A number of tweeters suggest that Warnock should
drive the striker to the Galpharm himself for that sort of money. Apparently,
having that sort of fee to reinvest in the squad will come in very handy – do some
people NEVER learn?
I’m still convinced a takeover is imminent, but while
Bates is around, such rhetoric should be outlawed - Gimme strength… I’m
flagging here!
Really nice thing. And actually this will be included with whatever they have to involve in particular actions and all. Nice and also i am expecting much more posts from you.
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